NMB Day 33

International awareness week is officially over.  I have come out of it ready and if necessary, willing to go into another country if God calls me there!  I still don’t desire to go… but the point is that I’m available to follow God’s call.

The main story of the week is what’s coming next.  The staff have been watching and praying over us to see who will emerge as leaders.  They have chosen people to head up the different teams, bible studies, and even manage the entire project!  I was not chosen to be in a position of leadership.  At first I could be described as offended.  I’ve been a Christian for a really long time and feel that I know my stuff… but then the popular quote came to mind and changed my state of mind.  ”God does not call the equipped, he equips the called!”  Although I am not a leader in status, I can still be a leader in how I respect those who have that status, how I conduct my behavior, and how I spend my time.  I’ve decided that I will be the best follower that it’s possible for me to be!

I have some ideas for the project.  I have noticed a need and will be setting about to help provide a fix.  In a later blog, I will describe this idea.  unfortunately, time is a precious resource and I cannot do that now.

Praise God for his unconditional love!

NMB Day 29

This week, I have grown in a passion for sharing with those who haven’t heard about Jesus.  During our Sunday night session, Shanti spoke about sharing and referred to the “hidden groups” who have never even heard about the possibility of Jesus.  I’m not a crier, but I am unashamed to say that tears rolled down my face during the worship songs after her message.  ”You Said” by Hillsong was played.

I learned that I am definitely not as open to giving my entire life to Jesus’ perfect plan… I realized that I still size everything I feel like I need to to and see if my plan accommodates it.  I found out that I have a hard time actually going too far outside of my comfort zone!  I have learned to stretch my comfort zone… but am unable to fully leave it.  God, help me with this!

Today at work, it was my co-workers wife’s birthday.  I asked what he was doing for her, and he said that he can’t even afford to go out to eat.  Later that day, a lady at his church who also happens to be the manager at Tru Value, came by with two giftcards to an italian restaurant!  It was a random gift not aimed at his wife’s birthday at all!  and now, he’s able to take her out to eat!  Praise God for caring about the little things!

Tonight during date night with Jesus, I was reading in Mark.  I read about how Jesus sent his disciples out two by two, to heal, preach, teach, and just all around do the disciple bit.  They were told not to bring anything with them to prepare, not even an extra cloak or money!  What a strange idea!  this was to create in them a need to live by the Spirit.  To trust God for everything because they had nothing.   This is exactly my desire!  To be able to walk in the Spirit and trust him with every aspect of my life.  I don’t know exactly the best way to go about this, but God has been giving me many learning opportunities this summer, and I think that he’ll continue to provide them even when I leave NMB!

What is walking in the Spirit?  What makes it work?  How am I able to practically give different aspects of my life to God every day?  I feel that there are practical steps that I can take in order to make sense of it all and give my all… the question is:  ”what are they?”

I’m praying about it and ask that you spend some time praying as well.  Pray for clarity as I wrestle with this issue, pray for our neighbors (because they’re kinda rowdy and have sent 6 of their people to the hospital because of fights between their houses!)  We’ve had some GREAT conversations with them and several people are interested in getting to know Jesus.

Praise God for brokenness!  It brings up so many quality questions and keeps me honest with myself and God.

Live it all for Jesus, he’s the only thing that can bring encouragement and joy to a day!

NMB Day 26

This past week has been a learning experience.  The staff gave notes to different students throughout the week, and to develop “community”, we needed to get word out to everyone on project.  Some hints were about staying silent during our project-wide picture, some about semantics for the softball game this last saturday, and even one explaining that only one person per building was allowed to set an alarm for one day!  The first person up had to wake someone up, and they would have to wake up the next etc. until everyone was awake.

The week ended on Saturday, with the Staff vs. Students softball game.  The game was pretty much a continuation of the week.  Whenever the students were able to stay positive in light of a bad hit or throw, we would get an extra strike before we were out, or something like that.  We lost… but it was probably the most encouraging, fun time of sports that I’ve had in a really long time!

Today, I played another sport… Soccer!  I never thought I’d be any good, and I was right!  okay, I wasn’t horrible, but compared to some of my teammates and opponents… let’s just leave that thought there.  It was great!

Tonight, we had the International Dinner.  Those of you who’ve been on project before know what I’m talking about… Throughout the evening, I’ve never been so broken for the lost people of the world in my life!

Praise God for this brokenness, yet please pray that he will take it away from me and replace it with confidence in his plan soon!

NMB Day 22

Today has been interesting.  I went to work as per my normal schedule for Wednesdays.  7:30.  I was supposed to work till 2, but as the work world goes, when someone is injured, I was unable to leave until 4.  2 hours after work was supposed to be done for me, I found a ride home and spent some time thinking over the past week.

I know that I definitely need to learn how to properly feed myself.  Most of what I’ve been consuming is junk food, pop tarts, and apple juice.  (with the occasional large meal as people go out to eat.)  I think I need a bit of help… I think if I had ideas of what to make (and maybe tips of how to deal with less then desirable cooking equipment) I’d be better off.

Kari, thanks for leaving me that voicemail message!  you made me laugh!  one thing… how do you KNOW I wasn’t at northport?  :P

During Date night with Jesus, I randomly (I try not to do this, but I couldn’t resist this one time) chose a passage in 2 Kings.  It talked about God’s plan and how it worked out even with every other people’s plans!  We try and do things our own way, but God always prevails!  Afterwards, I went through a page about personal time with Jesus.  It had the letters ACTS standing for adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication… so, praising God for who he is, confessing our sin and turning from it, thanking God for all he has done in our lives, THEN asking God to do things in our lives.  During this time, I journaled my thoughts as they came to me… and although semi-convoluted, this is a small section of what came out that I’d like to share.

God.  I love you.  I need you.  I feel empty without you.  I don’t understand you, but I know I can’t  You never change, and yet I still cannot grasp that single picture of you.  How can I?  The picture of your love is emotion beyond what I can handle, pain beyond my deepest fears, more solid than my most sincere promise.  As infinite as you have made my brain for soaking knowledge, you are still more vast beyond all comprehension…

While writing this, I began thinking of the worship songs that seem to talk about how incomprehensible God is, and how inconceivable he is.  To me they may not have been just words, but they definitely didn’t strike me as strange.  I thought “sure God is inconceivable.  I mean, he’s GOD!”  I never thought about all the reasons WHY.  even just the idea of his love… it’s amazing! Why don’t words accurately describe emotion or concepts until you experience them?

Tonight, even after being amazed at how amazing God is… I realized how many bad choices people make.  Beau and I were talking in our kitchen when he sees an ambulance across the street.  I go over to see what’s going on, and after asking the right people, I found out that a girl has probable alcohol poisoning and her parents are an hour away, not knowing what to do.  Beau, Tom, Diego, and myself spent some time praying for the situation… if you read this, I ask that you do too.

I don’t work tomorrow, and am looking forward to my quiet time.  We’ll see what I get out of it!

Prayer requests:  the girl in the ambulance, grace and forgiveness from the girl’s family, opportunities to talk about Jesus from this situation, and steady growth in my walk with Jesus!

NMB Day 19

NMB Day 16

I slept till noon… haha!  totally wasn’t expecting that!  I didn’t have that long until I had discipleship at 3.  We went out sharing and for the first time… I had the privilege to pray with someone to receive Christ!  I’ve never been present for such a huge decision being made before!  I can’t wait to keep sharing and presenting opportunities for others to find the same choice.

I went out to eat at Wendy’s with the guys in my apartment for supper.  What a fun group!  We spent the time teasing each other, encouraging each other, and getting grossed out by the spitballs that were sent from across the table.  Yeah, we’re mature!

After the weekly meeting here, (which the worship is absolutely awesome by the way!) I met with a group of people that I will be working closely with as the community team.  We plan events, set the atmosphere, and help come up with weekly topics.  I can’t wait to work on the up and coming events with these people!

Afterwards, two of the Emily’s and myself went to the beach… in order to go back up into a hotel building to sneak in and use their pool. (don’t tell!)  I haven’t stepped foot into a chlorinated pool for a really long time… it felt so good!  I’m clean, not sweaty, AND I don’t feel like a dried out and salty fish!

Prayer requests:

I have realized how much of a heart I have for the lost around me.  Pray that I may let that heart and passion grow, so I can more effectively share what everyone needs to know!
Pray that those I have already shared with will continue thinking about their decision and will take it seriously.  It’s a BIG DEAL!

All in all, I am growing a TON here on summer project!  And want to share my experiences and joy with each and every one of you.  (mom and dad, I’ll call home soon. I promise!)

Peace.

NMB Day 15

Today, I went to work very tired.  (you know how it is when you stay out too late talking to people!)  So I tried out a 5-hour energy for the first time in my life… I only took a sip though, just to try it out.  I felt the buzz within 5 minutes and was really excited for how work was going to go… until I crashed a couple hours later.  I definitely need to drink the entire thing if I want to use a 5-hour energy!

After getting home from work, I spent some time talking to the guys in my room and getting psyched out for date night with Jesus!  6:30 hit and I went out to the park to spend some time doing Bible study and reading in a book we got called “Fireseeds.”  What amazing and encouraging books!

During my date (with Jesus for those of you who just skim these things), I realized that I am really excited to share Jesus with others, and that I have been given a heart for the lost!  A guy was sitting at a picnic table next to mine, and I decided to speak with him.  He was already a Christian (legitimately) and it was really encouraging to talk to him about what he thinks life is about and the future.  I went back to my study and decided to read a bit in the fireseeds book… I got super excited to go back to my campus…

God is going to do great things at NDSU next year!  I pray that I can be used in the up and coming revival in the college campuses!  I believe God is going to start another time in our history (starting now) where people will realize the truth and come to Christ!

I hit up the party scene again tonight and ended up walking with a guy on his way to buy cigarettes.  Instead of walking him straight home, we walked and talked for a while about who Jesus is and we went through the ‘knowing God personally’ booklet!  At first, he simply agreed with everything I said, but then the Holy Spirit worked in him, and I saw his demeanor change.  He understood that he couldn’t go through life alone even though he thought he wasn’t.  He was very open to the Gospel, and I will be talking with him 0n another day when he’s in the correct state of mind to make a sincere decision!  Praise God for this encounter!

Pray for my discussions that I have with different people, and pray that their hearts are open to the Gospel… pray that God would give them searching hearts!

Pray that I may be prepared this summer to come back, and hit the campus with everything I am!  I want to be used by God to bring others to him!

NMB Day 14

Today, I had the energy to act crazy while at work.  Those who know me understand, but for the rest of you; I have the ability, when I’m in the correct mood (which is nearly at any time), I  can make myself hyper.  And in a public setting like a cashier at a gas station, it just makes me extra friendly.  When that happens, I simply have more fun at work.

I finished work at 4 and ended up walking home ON THE BEACH with Michael, Angie, and Kelly!  What better way is there to come home from work?

Tonight, I went out sharing with Steph and had some SWEET conversations with different people about Jesus!  We even hit up the party scene!  (totally legal of course!)  We didn’t see anyone come to Jesus through our efforts, but we know that we planted seeds, and that God will use what we’ve said tonight in different people’s lives!

After sharing, I ended up going to a park with Jeremy, Ben, Angie, and Lindsey.  We spent time getting dizzy on the tire swing and cool metal spinning things… no idea what they are!  Now, back here contemplating the day, I am grateful for my new passion to share!  I love it when Jesus changes my ideas and passions!

Pray that I continue to be open to changes from Jesus, and learn to love him more!

NMB vlog Day 10

My goal has been to learn everyone’s names by today… unfortunately, I don’t have them all down yet.  But I am beginning to learn last names!  I’m starting to get the hang of all those names that I continually miss!

Tonight, in the Grassy Knol, we played ninja!  What a fun game!  the point is to take turns in a circle to try and hit the other people’s hands, if you hit their hand, they are out and so on.  Not to brag or anything but… I was skilled enough to get TWO PEOPLE OUT AT ONCE!!  …thus ends the bragging.  It was really good bonding with those around me, (and a good way to get the hang of a couple extra names!)

NMB Day 9

Honestly, this is probably the most important entry I’ve ever written on my blog.  Even if you fully agree with everything I’m saying, (and even if you don’t)  please read through every point!  It’s life changing!

I woke up in time for Discipleship with my Bible Study leader, Marcis Davidson.  We went to the beach together to try and share Jesus with some people, but the only people we had the chance to talk to either were busy or already believed.  I was encouraged when one woman we talked to not only shared that she believed in Jesus, but that she also understood how to become saved.

Most people simply say we have to “believe” and that’s it.  They usually leave out that we are wretched sinners and it takes God’s grace in conjunction with our acceptance of that grace in order for us to be moved into right standing with God.  They don’t understand the four main points of starting to follow Jesus:

1.  God loves us!  We are his creation, his children!  how could he NOT love us!?!  Because of this love, he also has a plan for us, like any parent has for their children.  But because he loves us so much, he will not force us into that plan, he wants us to understand that it’s a perfect plan, and accept it on our own.

2.  We are sinful.  We all know this!  Have you ever lied?  I sure hope you answered “yes” to that question, because if you didn’t I’m sure that you’ve just told another lie.  Have you ever stolen something?  Ever lusted?  Ever murdered (hated) someone?  Ever coveted something that belongs to another?  Ever dis-honored your parents?  Ever put God any lower than first in your life?  If the answer is “yes” to ANY of these questions, you are not worthy to get into heaven.  God ONLY accepts those who are blameless… unfortunately, I have answered yes to many of these questions.  I am in the same boat as you!  No possible action I can do will let me get into heaven.  I may live the REST of my life perfectly… but it’s already too late.  Thank God for the next point!

3.  God’s response.  He responds to our sinfulness.  He sent Jesus to take our sin.  The question remains, “why did Jesus have to DIE?”  Couldn’t he have just done 1,000 push-ups or something to burn off the sin?  The answer lies in Romans 6:23:  ’For the wages of sin is death.’  DEATH!!! The punishment for having sin in your life is to die, be separated from God forever!  Instead of making us die because of our sin, he sent Jesus to take that punishment of death.  Jesus dying was (and is) the ONLY way that we could possibly be forgiven of our sins and have hope to spend eternity with God!  Unfortunately, many people KNOW these truths.  They understand that Jesus came to die for us and to save us… the sad part is that so many people stop there.  They don’t move on to the fourth point.

4.  Our response.  We must RECEIVE Christ through faith.  Ephesians 2:8-9 ‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one may boast.’  this means that although it is necessary for us to accept the gift… it’s God who saves us.  We aren’t saving ourselves.  What does it mean to actually receive Christ?  It is us choosing to disown our sinful nature and live for God’s purpose.  By accepting Jesus, we are giving our lives over to his purpose.  Many people are holding on to things.  They say “God, I’ll follow you BUT I still want to be able to go out and party on the weekends.” or “BUT I want to go to a specific college” or “BUT I wanted to do something specific with my life!”  These need to be dedicated to God!  He has a perfect plan and will use you where you’re most beneficial!  Submit to his plan!  Take yourself off the throne of your life and put Jesus in your place!  He’s the only one who loves you enough to truly do what’s best for you in your life!

…but the lady we talked to understood this, and that was encouraging!

Continuing on with discipleship with Marcis… We discussed what it meant to be filled with the spirit and how the Bible sometimes equated being filled with the spirit as being drunk.  It sounds really weird, but a study by Rick James clarified it very well.  Someone who is intoxicated may not be able to use discretion in what they say… in the same way, someone who is filled with the Holy Spirit may not be able to help proclaiming the name of Jesus and what he can do in our lives!  The article listed several ways to stay available and sensing of the spirit.  These include continually submitting our lives to God’s will, not just small bits and pieces of it, Confessing our sin the very instant we recognize it as sin, Relying on God throughout the tough and easy times in our lives, and cultivating our hearts with praise, thanksgiving, and spiritual songs.

We discussed the idea of “Spiritual Breathing” which I had never really heard before.  It’s all about “breathing out” by confessing sins and repenting from our sinful ways, then “breathing in” by surrendering my life to Christ again and relying on him to continually forgive me, give me grace, and lead me.

Thank God for the sweet worship tonight with the new band!  I’m excited for worship every week now!

Pray that I may continue being thirsty for God and that I can learn to fully rely on him and walk in the spirit!